PS; this post is going to sound a bit like a sermonJ.
At the beginning of this year when I decided to live for Christ, the plan was basically to do it for a year and then get back to being good old me. Turns out the joke was on me. Because, it also turns, out the old Kullein is dead and gone. Let me explain…
I wanted to do it not really for me, but for both of us, for both me and God. I thought, live right for a few months, touch a few lives, get them to salvation and then before you know it, the months will be long gone and then you can go back to who you were. Everyone’s happy. The truth is, it was more for my own good. God doesn’t really need me, somewhere in the Bible it says, and I’m paraphrasing, if God wanted, He could get the rocks to do His work for Him. Yes He will let me if I want to, but He would never make me. I also realized that it’s not all about me. It, all this, this whole mess called life, it is indeed all about Jesus. Nothing else.
I can never be the same again, even if I tried. The changes go beyond the physical, and they are continuous. I have always wanted to stand out and be great, and I thought it was only to prove a point to the world. It just hit me recently that if I do get to be great, it will be only and only to the glory of God. I mean think about it, strange things have been going on in my life since this year came by:
- - I am quite loving and forgiving. Back in the day, no sin went unpunished. If I couldn’t find a way to make you pay, I would always have you on my “be-ware of” list. Now all I do is forgive and pray for people that might do me wrong.
- - I forgive myself quite easily too. Now this is huuuuuuggggeeee where I’m concerned because for some reason, growing up, there was a lot of pressure to be perfect and make no mistakes. Now, each mistake is a lesson and a stepping stone. What’s done is done; keep it moving.
- - What about the way I’m not very excited by the party life anymore…I refuse to believe it’s because we are growing old. Personally I intended to part till my bones couldn’t take it anymore… now you literally have to drag me to a party!
- -And the way I’m always sneaking verses and bible stuff into all my posts and conversations. It’s what happens when you’re so in love with someone, you just can’t stop talking about them. My friends and I used to wonder about this girl that basically only used to post about God and Jesus and stuff, like doesn’t she have a life outside church!, but now, you should take a look at my twitter feed...
Truth is, this year has changed everything about me, and I didn’t know it was even taking place. It’s a positive change, a good change, the kind of change that everyone approves of, me inclusive, but it’s for God’s glory. I wish everyone could find what I have found, cos then you would see that life makes so much more sense.